Slender Man used to hoard plague doctors: he kept some in a gallery as collectors’ items. The rest he kept a more or less live stuffed animals. It was quite sweet, really.

I’ve been away for a long time: my apologies. I was doing penance for creating this blog. Now that I’m free again, I’m back to slandering Slendy. Here he is, shopping for peaches at a roadside stand.

Yes, yes you will. 

Walking in a winter wonderOHMYGODWHATISTHAT?!

ho ho horror

I’m in your trenches, terrorizing your d00ds. Slendy doesn’t have to play video games to get that up-close, World War action. He just fucking goes there.

He wore a raspberry beret

And danced around the secondhand store.

A raspberry beret

Nobody dares come back there no more

Shut the damn door, I’m on the can!

Photobomb of unremitting horror?

Slender Man was pretty good at psychology in school, so he took a job as a tutor. Unfortunately, he’s having a difficult time remembering the difference between motivation and despair.